The other day I filled out a customer satisfaction survey for an Internet service that I use.
I didn’t exactly think it would be a trip to Hawaii or a new convertible. But I thought maybe I would get something useful, like a desk calculator or a coffee mug to add to my collection.
Imagine my surprise, as a health care reporter, to be offered three unusual health-related gifts.
After I had answered the last question, the next screen offered me a choice of one of these three items:
Gift No. 1: A weight-loss concoction. I could stand to lose a few pounds, but trying this supplement could give me an amphetamine-like buzz that would have me typing 10,000 words a minute. I passed on this one.
Gift No. 2: An e-cigarette kit. Just what I needed: A nicotine delivery system for a person who has never smoked. They might throw in some candy e-cig flavors as well. I moved on.
Gift. No. 3: Vials containing a testosterone muscle-building product.
Was the company telling me something here that I ought to know? I didn’t need to consult my wife – or did I?
Honestly, those were my choices.
The Internet company had no idea that I was a health journalist. Still, they could have come up with some decent medical-related stuff: A box of adhesive bandages. A thermometer. A pedometer. Even sunscreen.
I had no desire to pick any of the choices I was offered. Not even for free.
I thought about writing to the company. But maybe that would have triggered offers of still other questionable health products, like an anti-aging elixir. Hair replacement cream?
The next time I take customer satisfaction survey, the gifts will have to be better than these.
What ever happened to toasters?